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Relationship Refractory Period

Relationship Refractory Period

The commonly accepted period of time between a relationship ending, and when it is arbitrarily deemed ‘ok’ to see someone else.

Somewhere in the history of modern relationships, society decided there was an arbitrary grace period from when a relationship ends, to when one can restart the pursuit. There isn’t a commonly accepted time period for this. My opinion? There shouldn’t be. This came up from a personal relationship of mine that ended this time last year.

This typical scenario is when a breakup recently happened. One of the partners starts seeing someone else, and the other gets upset. Usually the dialogue goes something like:

Person A: “You’re seeing someone now?”

Person B: “Yeah.”

Person A: “Don’t you think it’s a little soon?”

This conversation usually ends with Person A feeling hurt. There is nothing with feeling hurt. The ending of a relationship is hard. Even for the party that instigated its end. While some people may need this period of time to grieve the relationships end, I think it is problematic to assume that all people should have to wait some period of time. Different people grieve in different ways.

For some people, jumping back on the bandwagon is the quickest way to move on, and to be able to process those feelings. Please don’t shame them for their grieving process.

Published inRelationships

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